


Loki's horrible timed pranks

by iloveitblue



Series: Prompts [81]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Body Swap, Established Relationship, M/M, the team doesn't know though, until they do
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-16
Updated: 2015-05-21
Packaged: 2018-02-13 10:21:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2147112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iloveitblue/pseuds/iloveitblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where there is body swap and Loki has horrible timing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> For the sake of the story, Loki is a harmless prankster with magic that likes to torture the Avengers with harmless but fairly annoying pranks.

Being away from Clint for three whole weeks merited a welcome home gift. Or I’m glad you’re still alive after a FUBAR op sex. Either way, they missed each other and could not wait to get their hands on each other. Phil’s back hit the wall as the weight of the archer came down upon him, Clint suddenly jumped him and curled his legs around Phil’s waist as they made out like horny teenagers on prom night.

"Oh God" Phil panted beneath Clint as the archer kissed his way down Phil’s neck. He groaned, and Clint steadied himself with his forearm beside Phil’s head, as the other hand trailed Phil’s chest. Meanwhile, Phil’s hand was busy groping the archer’s back and ass. Not that Clint was complaining, of course.

Clint descended once more to give Phil a kiss, when, out of nowhere, there was a bright light and the next thing Clint knew, he was opening his eyes. He shot out of bed and almost fell face first to the floor. His body felt way lighter than it was.

But that wasn’t his main concern. His main concern right now was what happened and where the hell was Phil. The where was he part of the night could wait. First, he had-

A crash from out the door made him bolt before he could think about it. He was outside the door faster than he ever did before and once that he was outside the door, he realized that he was still in the tower. Well, that solves one of the questions. He hurries toward the sound and stops in front of his own room where the crashes were coming from.  _Oh Shit. Phil._  He opened the door without further prompting and the sight before him just raised more questions.

Standing on either side of the - now, destroyed - room, was both Phil and Clint, or well, Clint’s body and Phil. Both men still very much naked, and very much hard. Clint’s body was trying to get his pants on while Phil was trying to get his shirt on.

That was when Clint’s body turned to the door and noticed real-Clint standing there. “Steve?” Clint’s body asked. 

wait. That’s not right.

Real Clint looked down at his hands and touched his face, then his hair. He scrambled for the bathroom and stared at his face in the mirror. That was not his face staring back at him. 

He stepped out of the bathroom, feeling way more confused than before. “I’m not Steve. I’m Clint.” He tells them.

—-

Soon enough every Avenger in the tower was in the common living room either, sitting or pacing. Clint-in-Steve’s-body in particular was pacing, this body was restless.

"Okay, so…" Bruce-in-Natasha’s-body started. "To clarify… Clint is in Steve’s Body. Natasha is in Clint’s. I’m in Natasha’s. Steve is in Thor’s body. Tony is in Phil’s. Thor is in mine. While Finally, Phil in Tony’s." They all nodded in agreement. "Okay, then. Glad we sorted that out."

"How did this happen?" Steve-in-Thor’s-body asked.

They were silent for a moment then all at once, they all sighed and agreed on the perpetrator. “Loki.” They said in unison.

"I will go ahead and speak to him as soon as I can." Thor-in-Bruce’s-body declared. "But I’m sure this prank will have reversed by tomorrow morning."

"Okay, Not that this isn’t fun and all, but I’m afraid we have more pressing issues." Tony-in-Phil’s-body interrupted. "Like when the fuck were you asshats going to tell us that you were banging each other!!" Tony gestured between Clint and Phil’s bodies. 

"That is your pressing issue, Stark?" Phil-in-Tony’s body asked, raising an eyebrow, and wasn’t that weird. You almost never see Tony with a straight face.

"I think it’s a very valid issue, seeing as how I almost got my fingers broken - well technically they’re your fingers but I would still be the one feeling the pain. since it was my hand on Clint’s butt, or is it Natasha’s butt. You know what? Nevermind. I know you get what I mean. Just- when the hell were you gonna tell us?" Tony demanded.

"Honestly?" Clint-in-Steve’s-body answered. "We thought you already knew."

"Obviously not!" Tony groaned. "Although I have to say, you both must have really athletic sex. I mean, I’ve done plenty of wall sex, myself but with Clint’s flexibility and Agent’s infamous secret strength…" Tony trailed off and smirked. Suddenly, everyone that wasn’t Clint-in-Steve’s-body or Phil-Tony’s-body were listening and staring at the two.

Phil-in-Tony’s-body groaned. This was going to be a long night of evading questions and holding himself back.

He just wanted to have sex with Clint, damnit. Godamn Loki and his stunts. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Format is: owner of the body (who's really inside)  
> e.g. Tony(Phil) means Phil is inside Tony's body.

Everybody got settled in quickly in the living room as an impromptu movie night was called upon as per request by the real Tony. It was weird, in a way, to see their team not sitting in their usual seats - though in hindsight they were actually in their seats, it was their bodies that weren’t. 

Clint’s body was sitting in the single club chair in the room - that was usually Natasha’s - with his legs over the armrests. Natasha sat on the floor next to the chair - which was Bruce’s usual spot. Steve(Clint) and Tony(Phil) were seated side by side on a couch together with Bruce(Thor) lying on a bean bag by their feet. Phil(Tony) glared at Steve(Clint) and Tony(Phil), trying to bore a hole in their skulls just by his stare. Thor(Steve) finally came in to sit next to Phil(Tony) and hand the man a can of coke. 

Pizza and snacks were all on the table along with drinks -from hot chocolate to coke to canned juice - They started the movie without any fuss since they had agreed to watch Tangled the previous movie night. 

They were at the part of the movie where Flynn just confessed that his name really was Eugene when Phil(Tony) instructed JARVIS to pause the movie. 

"Hey! What the fuck, Stark?" Steve(Clint) yelled at him from where he was cuddling with Tony(Phil) - and wasn’t that just all levels of weird.

"I get that you all thought that we knew that you and agent were a thing but was this" He gestured to both Steve(Clint) and Tony(Phil) "always a thing? ‘Coz I certainly haven’t noticed and I  _would_  notice something like this.” Phil(Tony) glared at Steve(Clint) and Tony(Phil). 

"What? the cuddling?" Tony(Phil) asked.

"Yes the cuddling! I mean I’m not against you guys being all lovey-dovey and whatnot but can you not cuddle while in my body? It’s weird seeing me do something so domestic with someone I haven’t even banged yet." Phil(Tony) grouched.

Thor(Steve) pulled Phil(Tony) back down to sit beside him and shook his head the way Steve does when he wants to tell you to shut up but in a polite and fond way.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, your reactor isn’t exactly the best pillow for cuddling." Steve(Clint) complained. 

Thor(Steve) rolled his eyes and gave Phil(Tony) a pat. “I’m sure its fine Tony.” He told Phil(Tony). “Besides, you’re not supposed to lie on the reactor. You’re supposed to rest your head next to it.” Thor(Steve) reasoned with Steve(Clint).

Clint(Natasha) and Natasha(Bruce) both shared a look then smirked. Bruce(Thor) full on grinned. “And you know this how?” Tony(Phil) asked him. 

If Asgardians could blush the Avengers were sure it wouldn’t be this red. “I- It’s logic. Plain and simple.” Thor(Steve) tried not to squirm in his seat. “Look, can we just get back to the movie?”

JARVIS obediently played the movie again and they were quiet again, but this time not only did Phil(Tony) stare at Steve(Clint) and Tony(Phil) instead of the movie, Thor(Steve) did it too. Thor(Steve) was more subtle about it though, glancing every once in a while as inconspicuously as he could.

Steve(Clint) tried not to smile because of it. Instead, he looked up at Tony(Phil) who was busy watching the movie and smiled - looking like a guy who was madly in love for all the world to see. Steve(Clint) tried not to snort at the tiny noise he heard from Phil(Tony). 

THIS.

IS.

GOING.

TO.

BE.

EPIC.

Steve(Clint) lifted his free hand to touch the side of Tony’s(Phil's) face. Tony’s(Phil's) eyes lingered on the screen for a second before it fell to the hand on his cheek then to Steve(Clint) who was looking at him with big blue eyes that almost seemed pleading and hopeful at the same time, a small smile graced Tony’s(Phil's) lips before he poked his tongue out to lick his bottom lip then bit it. Steve(Clint) looked hypnotized, his stare bouncing from Tony’s(Phil's) eyes to his lips in a matter of seconds.

-or at least that’s what it looked like.

In truth, Phil and Clint had agreed earlier that night that they wouldn’t do anything compromising (not even kiss) while they were inside their teammates’ bodies. Because not only would that be weird, it’d also be all kinds of wrong. it’d be like they were both cheating on each other with each other but at the same time not.

It was easy for the most part but anytime Phil was close to Clint or vice versa, either one of the real Steve and Tony would turn to stare longingly at them. It was mean and they weren’t going to take it any farther than cuddling to tease the two, but this was just so much fun. Also, Phil didn’t miss the way his body made the little noise when Tony saw Steve’s body looking at his the way Clint does with Phil - with so much affection.

The idiots obviously liked each other too. Phil and Clint had decided wordlessly, that they’d take this whole act as far as the other two would allow. Which was probably before their lips touched.

Tony(Phil) gravitated closer to Steve(Clint) as the blond slowly leaned up to meet him half way. Just before their lips met - close enough that they could feel each other’s breath on their lips, and they had their eyes partly closed - Thor(Steve) stood up. Steve(Clint) and Tony(Phil) both whipped their head to look at Thor(Steve). 

"Is something wrong, Captain?" Tony(Phil) asked him.

"Nothing- I just- I-" He stammered out.

"Tony? Are you alright? You don’t look so good." Steve(Clint) tried to reign in his grin as he stared at Phil(Tony) hugging a pillow to himself and glaring at them. He failed. 

Phil(Tony) looked offended as he opened his mouth to talk. “You little fucker.” He growled at Steve(Clint). “You’re doing this on purpose!” 

Steve(Clint) rolled his eyes at him but his grin has lowered down to a cocky smile. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He denied. 

"You’re purposely trying to make a move on Phil so that it’ll look like Steve is making a move on me! You sneaky little bastard."

"If it makes you feel any better, it makes it look like you can’t focus on anything that isn’t Steve either." Steve(Clint) smirked then turned to Thor(Steve). "Right, Steve?"

Thor(Steve) didn’t dignify that with an answer but he did groan from the back of his throat which told everyone in the room enough. 

"See?" Steve(Clint) looked smug as he leaned back into Tony’s(Phil's) arms, cuddling the man. "You’re not as alone as you think, Tony."

And then there was another bright flash of light. 

"Hark, we have returned to our original forms!" Thor bellowed, and by the speech pattern, it really was Thor inside.

Clint blinked furiously until he could see clearly again. He looked down at his hands and cheered. It was  _his_ hands. “Oh, Thank Fuck.” Clint leapt up from the club chair and walked directly to Phil, climbing on the man’s lap and giving him a long and deep kiss deserving some sort of award. When they both parted, they were grinning at each other. Clint climbed off of Phil and pulled the man up. “If anyone needs us,  _don’t._ " Clint called over his shoulder even as he was pulling Phil towards the elevator. 

Tony and Steve tried to look at each other to give the other similar looks of exasperation at the archer, but that’s also when they realized that they were still cuddling. Steve leapt, and sat up straight next to Tony while Tony pulled his arm back and unto his lap. 

Natasha rolled her eyes at all of them, then shared a look with Bruce before standing to claim her seat once more and asking JARVIS to continue the movie. 

If Steve and Tony happened to get closer and closer as the movie neared its end, Bruce, Natasha and Thor pretended not to see anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Here on tumblr](http://promptmephlint.tumblr.com/post/100250830261/im-still-sick-it-sucks-my-sore-throat-wont-go)


	3. Chapter 3

“So, what I’m saying is, did you know?” 

“Shut up Tony.“ Natasha said with what Bruce hoped was not the last time because he’s pretty sure that the time after the last would involve a gun. “I can’t hear Rapunzel speaking.”

“No, no, no. See, you’d have to know. ‘Coz you’re practically his twin and-”

Natasha cocked the gun, which Bruce was fairly sure appeared out of nowhere, in her hand. Tony immediately shut up.

“Thank you.” Natasha smiled and just in time for Rapunzel to say “and you’re mine.” 

They watched silently as the movie came to a close, Eugene voicing over the festivities their wedding had brought. And just as the camera panned up, they all heard someone moan.

Really loudly. Followed by an ‘Oh God’ and ‘Yes, Harder, Yes!’

and then nothing.

They all sat still in their seats unsure of what to do next, up until Tony broke the silence. “Tell me I wasn’t the only one who heard that. Please.”

“They’re not usually that loud, are they?” Steve asked, his eyes glued to the screen unable to look elsewhere.

“I think we would have taken notice if they were.” Thor looked over his shoulder then around the room. 

“I’d be worried if they were that loud and we didn’t notice.” Bruce commented.

“Well, they haven’t seen each other in what? weeks? It’s only natural for them to want to have sex with each other.” Natasha told them all, grabbing a handful of popcorn as she cycled through the titles on the screen.

“So you did know about them?” Steve asked her.

“Of course I did. Like Tony said, I’m practically Clint’s twin. Of course I knew.”

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Tony demanded. 

“It wasn’t my secret to share.” Natasha shrugged. “Finding Nemo or Ratatouille?”

“Finding Nemo!” Thor said, excited.”

“Wait, If you knew, Why the hell did you punch me when I was in Agent’s body?”

“I’m sorry, Is your natural reaction to having someone’s finger up your ass so suddenly is to just go along with it?” Natasha asked him back. When Tony didn’t answer, she snorted, satisfied. “Didn’t think so. Anyway, their relationship is very exclusive. No one gets in or out other than the two of them.”

Steve snorted, and then quickly covered it with a cough. The rest of the team turned to him then, one by one, they all started laughing. Once the laughing had died down to a minimum, they heard another round of moans. It seemed to get louder as seconds passed by too.

“Okay, I can’t be the only one uneasy with hearing their team mate have sex.” Tony finally said for all of them.

“Ditto.” Bruce raised his hand. “Isn’t this place supposed to be soundproof? Like every room?”

“Hey. Even the closets here are sound proofed. It’s not my fault I didn’t take into account how loud Clint could be.” Tony said, just as they all heard Clint yell out Phil’s name.

“Okay, someone needs to go in there and tell them to keep it down.” Steve told them all, and as soon as the words were said, each Avenger, grown ups that they were, touched their noses.

“I do not understand the need to censor their copulation. Is this not proof that they love each other?” Thor asked, without taking his finger off the top of his nose.

“Fine.“ Steve conceded. “We’ll just have to be louder than they are.” Every other Avenger turned to him, wide eyed. “Not like that. I meant the movie. Start a movie and turn the volume up or something. Anything to drown out Clint’s moans.”

“Sure.” Natasha and Bruce said at the same time, giving Steve a look.

“Just start the film already.” Steve said, with a roll of his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Here on tumblr](http://promptmephlint.tumblr.com/post/119527962026/i-cut-my-hair-so-now-i-have-uneven-bangs)

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, that was horrible. I can't believe you finished reading it. I'm so sorry for this horrible, horrible fic. I'm hoping it was amusing enough to make up for the poorly written mess that is this fic. [Here on tumblr](http://promptmephlint.tumblr.com/post/94915447941/you-get-the-glory-only-when-youre-not-around-to)
> 
> As usual, if you want me to continue this particular fic, Send me a line [here](http://promptmephlint.tumblr.com/ask) so I can add it to my queue. ;)


End file.
